If you walk up to anyone outside of Australia and ask what they would expect to find here I'm reasonably sure you'd be told about how Aussies all feed Kangaroo's in their backyards, wear corks in their hats and round up horses when they aren't fighting crocs (or shagging sheep if you're talking to a Pom). Of course, this is assuming they know where Australia is.
We take a certain national pride in the outback lifestyle, even though nearly all of us are far removed from it. Gone the way of the Tassie Tiger are most of the practices that gave outback living such a manly glamor, or near-destitute pallor, however you look at it. Though a few of these social dynamics still survive, such as mate-ship, language and communal drinking (yup- we're claiming it).
One that is sadly in decline is that of creative swearing. Australians were famous at one point for their inventiveness with language. "Sticks like shit to a blanket" , "cold as a dead Dingoes Donger", or "useless as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest" are just three examples off the top of my head. Terry Pratchett, in his book Last Continent made a point of poking fun at the way we could string together curses until they were works of art (and name places Didjabringabeeralong).
I can't remember the last time I heard a truly original swear. Actually, wait no, I can. That's the point.
A couple of years ago I was living with Vego and Hangover, both lovely girls I'd invite to my mums birthday party. Vego, being a vegetarian, had a habit of grating carrot on everything to fill in the gap where the meat should be... works for some I suppose. Anyway, here's a question, have you ever forgotten to clean a grater (specifically used for carrot) before going to bed? It happened all of (about) twice in the time we lived together and let me tell you, that shit does not come off short of incineration. Overnight, the carrot dries to the grater to form some sort of heat-sealed paint job a new car owner would pay extra for.
One day, Hangover tried to clean said grater to the loud declarations of "F@[king Grated Carrot!!!" which wasn't very creative, but was certainly original, and we soon found it useful for almost any situation.
Now if I could just figure out how to use it in a sentence with alliteration...
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