You're unique. Just like everyone else.

Around 8 months ago a friend of mine, the Gent, joined an online dating service. He went on a few dates here, a few dates there. If he'd really wanted to I'm sure he could have shagged a different girl every weekend but that wasn't his game.

I discussed his progress with him pretty regularly as the whole idea was a bit taboo to me. I thought internet dating sounded like the last refuge of the desperate, but he lent the whole process an air of dignity that I had not hitherto associated with it.

Like a sheep I decided to jump on board. What, really, was there to lose? Okay, maybe a little self-respect when I admitted to myself that finding a girl through more conventional methods was a little difficult. But I already knew that. And at least I was doing something constructive about it.

I went on a couple of dates. The first, a little uninteresting. The second, the girl sounded like a legend online and so I mind-spasmed when I met her... yah... it wasn't pretty. Oh well. Then I crippled myself about 5 months ago and decided I didn't want to meet anyone while I was moving around like an old man. So I turned off my profile.

...

I never said it was going to be an interesting story.

...

I did learn a few interesting things though.

The online dating game has a whole subset of language associated with it, much like the real estate game, everyone is trying to sell themselves, be quirky, be edgy, be cool. Be completely fucking generic! It's painful to read some of this stuff. Like "I am a compassionate, open-minded person who likes hanging out with friends and having a good time"... what does that mean exactly? How is that helpful in differentiating you from, hmm say, every other 20-something on the planet? I despair at how completely and utterly unimaginative people can be when talking about themselves.

And yes, I understand that it's just a stupid tiny little insignificant blurb on the gigantic network of daily interactions, emotions and woven grace that is a human life. I get the fact that people don't want to give too much away, scare off the customers by pointing out the dents, leave some mystery to be explored later. But you have to give something. I don't care how smokin' hot you are, a picture of yourself and a list of music you like¹ will not generate more than passing interest at a reasonable glam shot² and disappointment at how boring you are.

The whole point of using an online service is that you can interact with others virtually anonymously. So everyone can see a photo of you and a user name... so what? The chances you'll randomly run into or even recognise each other on the street are infinitesimal! And unless you choose otherwise, someone you contact may only ever learn your first name. The problem is that many users don't seem to realise that this anonymity exists or the wonderful gift it grants them. And that is the ability to be totally, ruthlessly honest about themselves.
Lets say you're a little crazy (and if you're reading this I'd say it's a safe bet) but you edit this out of your profile, 'everyone does it' you tell yourself. And you are correct. This is the path to true facelessness. You are exactly the same as everyone else. Or at least you appear to be. And the world is a poorer place for it. Self-censorship and conformity are the enemies of originality and distinctiveness, and they're winning the fight on this battlefield.

The character Dash, from the animated movie The Incredibles, when told that "everyone is special" replied with the rather astute observation "that's the same as saying no one is." And he's right. I hadn't considered the possibility that people aren't censoring themselves... maybe 80% of people are just boring as hell. How depressing. I'm sticking to the original theory because it's more optimistic.
I say 80% because there are a few troopers out there who truly throw caution to the sharks and really unleash the inner ninja-penguin. These people make me smile. To you, brave souls I throw out a big "I salute you!"

¹ interestingly, no-one in the world will admit to liking country or metal
² Unless the pic is shown here

Derwent River Star

Oren, Azz, Tom, lil' Bro and I all went to see Derwent River Star at the Hopetoun Hotel last night for their album launch. Its been several years in the making but 'The Winter Dark' is finally available for sale. I made shirts for four of us with the above image printed across the chest and the guys in the band seemed to appreciate it, which was cool. I was slightly devastated to hear that Alex is getting married soon but wish her all happiness just the same.

Jude is going back to America soon so it'll be a while before they come together again to create their sweet sweet tunes. I hope we made you feel wanted guys.