Shuffle Shuffle

Public transport is useful. It decreases the environment impact of moving large numbers of people and is necessary for a modern metropolis to get people into and out of commercial and retail areas. Here's a hypothetical situation: public transport doesn't exist. You start your first job and you can't afford a car. Logical conclusion: unless you are within walking/riding distance of your new job then you are going back to work in your Dad's dirt factory... and so is everyone you grew up with. So a decent public transport system must be in place for a city to become a city, to rise above being a bunch of towns held loosely together by sheep and a need to prevent inbreeding.

Public Transport is useful, no-one refutes this. Everyone complains about it*, true, but no-one has been stupid enough to suggest that we should do away with the whole system.

It's useful and necessary but Oh My God is it boring. I used to take a book to read on the 15 minute (that's right, I said 15 minute) bus ride to work because I just could not handle the silence! I don't know what the social norm is where you're from (my non-existent reader) but Sydney people do not talk to strangers on buses. It's like we're all 8 years old again, repeating Mums rule over and over in our head while desperately avoiding eye contact in case someone tries to offer us candy or a lift home.

But why should this be so? The chances of not liking someone with enough charisma to start a conversation on a bus must be reasonably slim? Oops, I've just answered my own question... What if you do like them? People don't want the obligation of remembering another name and the associated background noise. It's not that they don't care, it's that they don't want to care. We want attachment-free conversation. Preferably with someone we will likely never see again. Even if you have nothing in common there is always small talk. But small talk is only useful with people you know and will remember. So it's pointless. So why bother?

This sets a worrying social precedent. If no-one talks on buses then people who try must, by default, be a hammer short of a picnic**. So even those who want to try something different are herded back into line by the slightly worried expressions of their listeners. It's a vicious cycle that feeds on itself, eating all sound. The alternative? Plug yourself into an mp3 player, fix a glazed stare at a point approximately 3 meters through the person in front of you and put on your best I'm-practicing-for-when-I'm-dead expression. If this maneuver were graded I'd be in the 'uber l33t' category, no question.

Despite my l33tness, I'm annoyed at the whole situation and have had enough. So I've decided to do something about it...


Roughly 20~30% of the aforementioned zombie window-starers (myself included) go to work with some form of mp3 player to keep the deafening silence at bay. So it is safe to assume that these people have at least a passing interest in music. And what is music but a way to communicate with people? In it's rawest form it is the epitome of a social activity, a group of people coming together to appreciate the musical talent of a band/singer***. It's a social activity that doesn't have to be done socially. Therefore, all (or at least some) people listen to music as a replacement for conversation.
QED

But how do we differentiate these people from those who are legitimately using music for escapism, to avoid contact with people? Until now there were no external indicators and so everyone played it safe and left eachother alone. But I, in the words of Bauldrick from BlackAdder, have a cunning plan...

It is laughably simple but it may just work for that. Here are the rules:

• Purchase an iPod shuffle (approx $100AU)
• Fill it with (what you consider to be) an awesome selection of music
  
• Place the Shuffle-Shuffle logo on it (preferably as a circular sticker over the play button)
• Wear it in plain sight while in transit (preferably on collar or sleeve for maximum visibility)
  
• Upon meeting someone else wearing the Shuffle-Shuffle logo you must immediately swap Shuffles
  

That's it.

Ponder the possibilities for a moment.

It's true that a Shuffle is not a small investment. At $100 it's at least a medium sized purchase. But if you are swapping with another then you really don't lose value in the transaction.

You should also keep your head-phones for hygiene reasons.

Personal taste is nearly irrelevant. This is why we used to listen to the radio people! In the off chance that we hear a song we like and discover a new artist we enjoy.

And what of the benefits?

• You know that the person wearing the Shuffle-Shuffle logo is part of the community and will be interested in at least swapping stories about how they became involved or the music they've heard.
• You are no longer a weirdo because you are already connected.
• You may discover an artist that you have never heard of and really enjoy.
• Its something to do on the bus other that stare at that stain on the seat in front of you.
  

If you're interested drop me a line. I'm going to make the stickers up soon and can be found on the 39-anything buses on weekdays.


Oh, and if I'm going to write about public transport I should put out a shout to the awesome 9am L94 driver. You rule mate and if I ever see you at the pub I swear I'll bring you a couple of beers to thank you for having such an awesome attitude 24-7. You really are an inspiration.

* (SIX 400's IN A ROW!!!!)
** T-shirt idea number #14- "I start conversations on buses"
***DJ's and classical music can communicate in a different way but no less potently